Sunday, May 21, 2006
  Sex, Love, and Video Tape
Well the weekend was truly awesome. We talked about love, commitment, good sex, conflict resolution, predestination, the whole ball of wax. The Song of Solomon is a much deeper book than I understood and I’m looking forward to continuing our study.

There was one passage in chapter five that we found didn’t quite mesh with what Tommy was saying. The bridegroom visits the bride in the middle of the night and she tells him that she doesn’t want to get out of bed. She changes her mind and when she goes to the door to let him in there’s a passage about myrrh being on the door handle. She goes out and he’s not there. She goes outside and gets attacked by the city guards.

Tommy said that the bridegroom put myrrh on the door as a gesture of love and that the attack was God’s retribution for her refusal to let him in. I see where he was going with it, but a plain reading of the passages doesn’t say that. I’ll be checking out some commentaries. His steps in conflict resolution that he gleaned from the scripture was dead on though. Don’t react emotionally to your spouse when they start conflict. Love them. Don’t try and change them, let God do it. Keep lines of communication open and talk about what’s going on. Forgive them their sin against you and put it behind you.

I have a bad tendency in a fight to get all cold and logical and if that gets no result (typically the case) I go for the silent treatment. It was good to think about healthier ways to handle conflict and it’s all really stuff that I already know, but sorely needed reminding of.

I’m glad to be headed back to the hose and can’t wait to see the kids. It was good to get away and just have some adult conversation and peace and quiet, but I miss the hugs, smiles, laughs, and complexity that children bring. As often as I imagine how much simpler life would be without them (as every parent does from time to time no doubt) I wouldn’t have things any other way.

I’m looking forward to bringing the whole crew back up to Montreat some day soon. It’s absolutely gorgeous. We got to experience some of the little shops downtown, including a fantastic place called Chocolate Gems where I had an Earl Grey tea truffle and an ancho/chipotle truffle. I love Winston Salem and would find it hard to ever leave, but if I did I have a hunch I’d like to call Black Mountain home.

Click here to see some mountain pics.
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