Spiritual Gas Tank... To say that mine has been running on fumes would be an overstatement. That in part explains why this place has gone a bit to pot. That plus trying to write for other folks (which I love) has made writing time dear.
Now I'm not promising anything, by any means. I do plan on getting back in the saddle with my daily ramblings and writing my fiction. Reading about a young lady who is on novel number four and had her movie optioned by Peter Jackson should help me be inspired, not depressed. I just don't feel that my stuff is quite ready for prime time.
Anyway, back on topic. I haven't done any sort of meaningful spiritual things in quite some time. No Bible reading, practically no praying unless I'm with others who are, and I'm not back in choir or leadership training both of which started back this month. I just have no desire and as time passes that is no longer really bothering me. I'm asking myself, "Is this it? Is this how someone falls away?"
And if it is then I guess I'm okay with that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into an atheist by any means. It's just that the way we American Protestants do church doesn't make any sense to me. Most of them seem to be afraid or unwilling to be anything more than either modern Pharisees, or "free spirits" that completely pick and choose (though we all do that to varying degrees) and turn religion into a self-help resource. Add to that the fact that the Bible seems more and more to be a bunch of made up/grossly embellished stories by well meaning men.
Something my wife and I talked about is the fact that she see all of this sort of thing in B&W and I see, at best, shades of gray. Sometimes I wish I had her faith, not that it's perfect or makes her life any easier. It just seems better than the constant roller coaster that I stay on.
I guess I'm just tired of running a race that I can't win. The outcome is already decided so why bother?
Just so you know I'm not depressed or suicidal. I am tired. I am busy. I am stressed. But I don't think there's anything to be worried about in regards to my physical wellbeing.
Any of you ever gone through anything like this? I mean I've had low, loooooooow points in my life. I've even taken antidepressants. That was nothing like this. This feels a lot more like an internal paradigm shift of some sort.
Yes we're still alive. Yes we're still writing daily stuff for two other sites. Yes we like to refer to ourselves in third person. Since I can't do a video blog and I'm having trouble keeping a pointless, wrandom blog, I'm thinking of reading some of my fiction and posting those MP3s here. Would any of you be able to host (Pat, Bear, Bueller)?
¶ 2:32 PM7 pithy comments
Friday, August 25, 2006
South 21 Drive-In... Has it really been a week? Wow. Well anyway as promised in an earlier post I tried the South 21 Drive-In, a restaurant that appeared on Alton Brown's Feasting on Asphalt. If it hadn't been on that show I never would have found it or if I did I don't think I would have stopped. It didn't look like anything special food wise, but the decor was definitely a throwback to the fifties.
They only take cash or checks and not realizing that I didn't bring very much along for the ride. I did have enough to order the Super Boy hamburger with fries and a root beer for $5.90. Let me tell you, it was worth it. The burger wasn't as good Five Guys, but it was better than most other fast food joints. It consisted of two bun-sized patties with lettuce, tom, onions, and mustard with a dill pickle spear skewered to the top. The fries were fantastic and the whole affair was served on a paper plate.
This place is what Sonic tries to be, literally I suppose. The speaker system looks like it's original to the restaurant (1955) and has a tray attached that pulls out on a swing arm so that you can reach it. Service was pretty quick, but I was one of very few customers. Of course it was almost two o' clock. I suppose I should go again so that I can try their "Famous" onion rings and give their milkshake a shot. As good as it was though it's a little out of the way.
¶ 12:15 PM3 pithy comments
I mean I didn't watch all of every show but these guys were the best thing I saw. Of course I told my wife at the beginning, before I'd seen one second that a singer would win. *Sigh* I mean don't get me wrong, the little girl was talented, but Penn and Teller said it best. America apparently voted for cute.
¶ 3:22 PM2 pithy comments
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Heavy Rotation... MCF has given us a list of the songs he could listen to over and over. This in part thanks to The Art of Getting By. I figured I would return the favor. I had to do this quick like otherwise the list would take over my blog like kudzu. Most of them are from my teen years.
Panama by Van Halen - When I hear the opening riff from this it blows any cobwebs I have in my brain right out my ears. It's between this and Jump and I suppose Panama edges it out because I actually have this on my iPod. Otherwise this might be a harder fought battle. The whole 1984 album does a time warp for my brain.
Pump Up the Jam by Technotronic - Much like MCF's choice of Groove is in the Heart I defy you to listen to this an not tap your feet. Again it was a hard fought battle in my mind between this and Salt n Peppa's Push It. No seriously. Why are you looking at me like that.
Piano Man by Billy Joel- I am a hardcore fan of the Kid. His songs range from touching ballads to the hard bitten piano driven rock. He is a song writer par excellence. I chose this because it's a story. He manages to fill a three minute song with these unforgettable characters.
Georgia On My Mind by Ray Charles - This song is just perfect to me. It's so singable and he does such a moving job of it that it's just perfect. I don't know what else I can say.
Something in the Way She Moves by James Taylor(right click/save as for video) - This one has a personal connection. While my wife and I were dating it seems like all we listened to was JT. This song distills my feelings about her then and now. She pulled me out of a nose dive of depression and showed me the light.
Things have been more than a little busy. I spent yesterday at home with the kids while my wife visited her grandad. He's in a pretty bad way so y'all can certainly pray for him I spent most of the day with a headache (unrelated to the chilluns, I think).
Today is better. Work is busy. I continue to write for Morse and Fake Life. Feel free to drop comments over at those joints.
I haven't been able to do any significant fiction writing of late, which sucks.
A buddy of mine is about to be published and I have yet to read Chapter 12. Sorry Rock! I will this week, promise!!!
The idea for a vlog (video blog) is tabled due to a lack of time and the whopper of a hard drive that I would need to do it. We're gonna buy a Mac when the tax refund fairy comes so maybe then.